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About Melbourne

So, sexual-massage—it ain’t just rubbin’ one out, nah. It’s this ancient gig, goes back to them Tantra freaks in India, like 5,000 years ago. Little known fact, mate—them monks were kneadig flesh to “awaken the soul” or some shit. Soul, my ass, it’s bout tension leavin’ yer bones! I tried it once, fuckin’ hell, this chick’s hands were magic—soft but firm, ya know? Made me happy as a pig in shit, but I got pissed too—why ain’t this normal everywhere? World’s too uptight, man.